- A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
- What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- A backward poet writes inverse.
- In democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your count that votes
- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
- Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
- The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
- A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
- You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
- Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
- He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
- Every calendar's days are numbered.
- A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
- A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
- He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
- A plateau is a high form of flattery.
- The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
- Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
- When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
- Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
- When an actress saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
- Bakers trade bread secrets on a knead to know basis.
- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
- Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
[You can't say I didn't warn you!]
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